Member-only story
Satire
Elon Musk Bought A Fried Chicken Joint the Same Day He Bought Twitter
It burned to the ground five days later
While everyone was busy with Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, they missed his purchase of Willie Wingo’s Chicken Palace in the city of Alset, Maryland. Alset has a population of 188 proud Americans and is a suburb of Cumberland, Maryland. The only thing the town was ever famous for was this guy Willie Wingo and his fried chicken.
“Just the best chicken in the damned world,” one of the locals tells me by phone. “KFC, Popeye’s, Chik-Filet, all of them. They got nothing on Willie’s. Can’t believe it’s gone either.”
It is pretty sad.
In fact, Alset, a town deader than Jim Morrison of the Doors, was basically financially kept afloat by a wing joint. People traveling through and people nearby came day after day, night after night, to eat Willie’s famous chicken.
Funeral repasts? Willie’s chicken. Wedding parties? Willie’s chicken. No matter the occasion, anywhere in the vicinity, it was Willie Wingo’s wings.
It opened at 10:00 am every day and closed at 3:00 am. The place employed many of the people who lived there in the city.
