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SATIRE
The 45th President Tours Federal Prisons To Determine His Preference
“It was like he was buying a condo…” (Secret Service agent)
Over the last few months, as the indictment of the 45th President became more and more likely, the 45th President was touring federal prisons to see where he wants to serve his time.
According to sources, #45 has toured three federal prisons. Initially, he sought to make the visits appear official. But it became more obvious when he asked questions about the food menu and other amenities at the various prisons.
For example, at the federal prison in Marianna, Florida, the ex-President asked about pizza and tacos, according to the warden there, Rollo Sanford.
“Yes, he did,” Mr. Sanford told me by phone. “He wanted to know if he could eat pizza every night for dinner. I told him — no way.”
“And why is that?”
“For one, that is a horrible diet,” Sanford said. “We offer a balanced food diet.”
I also asked Mr. Sanford about Secret Service detail for the ex-President and if the Secret Service is allowed to come into the prison as well.
“I am not sure,” he said. “Let me get back to you.”
