The Bank Robbery (a serial novel)

(Chapter I)


O’Halloran, Thomas J. — This image is available from the United States Library of Congress — Rev. Jesse Jackson, rally, 1975 — (Public Domain License)

I am on the floor of the bank with a 9 mm Glock to my head. The bank is being robbed. I am thinking — why did I take this job as a bank teller? What were you thinking? I know I needed the money but like someone once said, there is work at the Post Office.

But who cares about any of that now. I might be dead soon. Local news will show up and tell the city about me and all the other victims of a bank robbery gone bad. They will tell everyone how I was a law student working his way through law school and got killed. Such a good person. He wanted to be a lawyer.

He wanted to be a lawyer so bad, he took a job as a bank teller to try to earn money to figure things out. Then this happened.

Shot in the back of the head.


Why won’t the guy just go away? I mean, I gave him all of the cash in my drawer. All of us did. I even gave him the food stamps. Yes, food stamps. Yes, we give customers food stamps. They come in, give us a slip, and we give them food stamps.

Mr. Johnny, the older teller, who had worked for the government for 40 years and then took this job to make a little extra cash on the side, gave him everything as well. He was so nervous he dropped his teller drawer and the money fell all over the place. We slowly picked up every dead President we could grab.

Mr. Johnny was on the floor right next to me. I know he probably felt more foolish than me. He didn’t need this gig. He was retired.

I needed the cash.

I was halfway through law school. I was also broke. If I could bide myself some time and earn some money, maybe I could go back. But, look at this existential madness.

I gave the guy with the Glock the dye pack. Yes, the dye pack.

They teach you that in bank teller school. Yes, you go to bank teller school. Banking is real. One whole week on how to be a bank teller. They teach how to not make mistakes in counting money and how to do all of the transactions. They also teach you if the bank gets robbed, don’t panic.

Remain calm. Cooperate. Give them all of your money. And the dye pack. The dye pack. This is just a stack of $10 bills and…



Brian G (aka 'bumpyjonas') - he/him

Lawyer for the poor. Poet. I love basketball and dark chocolate.